… and the funeral

Posted in movies, politics by jrahman on May 3, 2011

How exactly is an Islamic ‘burial’ at sea done?  

Yes, yes, I know, there are reports in the New York Times etc.  I was thinking more from a general historical angle.  I mean, Arabs were a sea-faring people.  Surely there were dead Muslims in the Indian Ocean a thousand years ago.  So I guess there are rules about this kind of stuff. 

Do the people of Chittagong or Noakhali — who are among the more seafaring Deshi types — learn these rituals? 

Anyhoo, back to the specific case, what’s the deal with this sea burial?  Official reasons don’t make sense:

a. no one would take him — just bury him in an unmarked grave in Afghan hills!

b. Islamic law says must bury in 24 hours, no time to find a plot — really? 

c. grave will become a shrine — hello, this mob hates mazars.

This leads to only one conclusion: Americans should take lessons from RAB on how to do these things — the proper way would have been to show the dead body, with a revolver and five bullets (which were found in the top pocket of his salwar kameez), then issue a press report that he was killed when the terrorists engaged in a crossfire, and then claim that body went missing from the Pakistani hospital, which was suffering from power failure, and hungry dogs and jackals dragged the body away.

(Update 7 May 1.04pm BDT)

The real truth of Bin Laden’s death is reported by this Bangla news site:

গতকাল রোববার মধ্যরাতে ইসলামাবাদের অদূরে এবোটাবাদ এলাকায় ওসামা বিন লাদেন ও তার দলবল অপরাধ সংঘটনের প্রস্তুতি নিচ্ছিলেন। এমন সময় তাদের চ্যালেঞ্জ করা হলে তারা ইউএস মেরিন কোরকে লক্ষ্য করে গুলি চালায়। ইউএস মেরিন কোরও পাল্টা গুলি ছোঁড়ে। গোলাগুলির এক পর্যায়ে পালাতে গিয়ে ক্রসফায়ারে পড়ে ওসামা বিন লাদেন (৫৪) ঘটনাস্থলেই নিহত হয়। ইউএস মেরিন ঘটনাস্থল থেকে একটি চাইনিজ পিস্তল ও ম্যাগাজিন উদ্ধারের কথা জানিয়েছে।

Okay, that’s about it as far as serious stuff is concerned.  How much Pakistan knew, what will happen now etc — read a newspaper or watch CNN or Al Jazeera. 

Okay, I lie, more serious stuff over the fold.

The really important question is, of course, who will be in the movie?

I am tipping for a Traffic / Syriana style multiple threads show, with plenty of Hollywood-Bollywood star power. 

Will Smith should play Obama, agonising over whether to launch a cruise missile and pulverise to compound, or work with the Pakistanis to liquidate the target.  Shah Rukh Khan can play Ashfaq Kayani, the Pakistani general.

Meanwhile, in a parallel plot, we will have the detective work that leads to the discovery of the target.  Aamir Khan can be the undercover American agent in the heart of Pakistan. 

And then, we can have Leo Di Caprio leading the Navy Seals into the firefight.  

The real question is, who can direct this epic?

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  1. Luna Purification said, on May 3, 2011 at 9:50 am

    Steven Spielberg? Richard Attenborough? Amir Khan? :p

  2. dhakashohor said, on May 5, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    I tip Denzel for Obama. Di Caprio for a wily intelligence officer, as in Body of Lies. Aaron Eckhart for the seal team leader with a visible minority girlfriend (because that’s how Hollywood rolls!).

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